Teenpact

I went to Teenpact this April?. Teenpact is a Christian homeschool organization founded to teach teens about the government. We spent four days, all day at the statehouse, prayed for our governor, senators, representatives, etc. We had lectures and speakers... if you are homeschooled I highly, HIGHLY recommend going. It's a lot of fun. Anyways, we have a mock legislature where we can present our bills, and if they pass comittee, speak on them. Here mine. You are required to write a serious bill, and an optional funny bill.

House Bill # 0000
A BILL
TO BE ENTITLED
AN ACT

To teach children gun safety.

PURPOSE: To keep children from injuring themselves and others by teaching them gun safety.

BE IT ENACTED BY THE LEGISLATURE OF THE STATE OF RHODE ISLAND:

Section 1. For the purpose of this act, "child" shall mean any person of ten years of age or fifth grade, and any person of fourteen years of age, or ninth grade. “Gun safety” shall mean any class teaching a child proper handling and respect of guns.

Section 2. All schools shall have two classes a year no less than one month apart for fifth grade students. If the number of children in the school exceeds the limit of the classroom, the school may add additional classes.

Section 3. In addition, there shall be another class for ninth grade students with the same stipulations as the fifth grade class.

Section 4. The classes shall be taught by a licensed instructor of gun safety.

Section 5. Any person who violates this act shall be subject to a fine not to exceed Sixty-five dollars ($65.00) per violation.

Section 6. All laws or parts of laws in conflict with this act are hereby repealed.

Section 7. This act shall become effective at the start of the new school year after approval by the Governor or upon its otherwise becoming a law.



And here is the silly bill I wrote:

House Bill # 0000
A BILL
TO BE ENTITLED
AN ACT

To protect the rights of animal crackers.

PURPOSE: For the humane consumption of animal crackers.

BE IT ENACTED BY THE LEGISLATURE OF THE STATE OF RHODE ISLAND:

Section 1. For the purpose of this act, "animal cracker" shall mean any of a number of snack crackers shaped in the form of various animals.

Section 2. In order for the humane eating of animal crackers, people must eat the animal crackers head first. After biting off the head one is allowed to bite off the legs one by one or eat the whole cracker as one desires.

Section 5. Any person who violates this act shall be subject to a fine not to exceed Fifteen cents ($.15) or one year in jail per violation.

Section 6. This act shall become effective after approval by the Governor or upon its otherwise becoming a law.


Funnily enough, the first bill didn't pass comittee (I think...). The second, funny bill made it past comittee. It's hilarious trying to defend a bill like this. "Why should this bill pass?" "Because animal crackers have rights too!" At the end, everybody voted for/against it. There was a clear "Nay" against my bill... but the fun thing about Teenpact is the Chairperson doesn't play fair. He said it passed, someone called "Division" (you want a revote). The Chairperson made some silly excuse like "Which bill? Do you know the number?" The kid who called division remembered the number of the one BEFORE mine, of course. My poor friend, whose bill had passed the first time, failed this time. Sorry Em.

There was another amusing bill that went through comittee. During comittee you can revise/edit the bill, change words, add amendments, etc. Another one of my friends wrote a bill on how "motorcyclists" have to wear protective gear while on a motorcycle. But there were two amendments. The first had the word "motorcyclists" changed too "water buffalo", and the second was that if the bill passed she had to sing "The Water buffalo song" (from Veggietales, which are Christian videos. See the bottom for the Water Buffalo song.) Poor Allie (who didn't even KNOW the Water Buffalo song) had to defend a silly bill she didn't even really write. She did a really good job of it though. The Bill passed, but the chairperson said, "Well, since it didn't go through the House of Representitives it hasn't passed yet, so she doesn't have to sing."

The next day we got even by passing a bill requiring that the comittee that revised the bill had to get up and sing "I'm a Little Teapot" in opera voices. With the hand motions. They did an APPALLING job of it, really slaughtered it... but they did do it. Actually, I had written the same exact bill the year before (I personally wanted to do something different, but my friends wanted to do it again) and that group had done a lot better.



The Water Buffalo song:

LARRY THE CUCUMBER:
The Water Buffalo song

Everybody's got a water buffalo
Yours is fast but mine is slow
Oh, where do you get them I don't know
But everyone's got a water buffaloooooo.................

I took my buffalo to the store
Got his head stuck in the door
Spilled some lima beans on the floor
Oh everybody's got a...

ARCHIE (A sort of stuffy asparagus):
Stop it! Stop! Stop right this instant!
What do you think you are doing?
You can't say everybody's got a water buffalo
When everyone does not have a water buffalo!
We're going to get nasty letters saying
"Where's my water buffalo? Why don't I have a water buffalo?"
And are you prepared to deal with that? I don't think so!
Just stop being so silly!

NARRATOR:
This has been Silly Songs with Larry. Tune in next time to hear
Larry sing...

LARRY:
Everybody's got a baby kangaroo
Your's is pink but mine is blue.
Hers was small but...

ARCHIE (chasing a running Larry):
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh........